[ verse ]
I feel insane, or maybe same as I've just always felt
My brain's deranged, detached membrane but failed to ever tell
Maybe today I'll end up dazed or something never dealt
I'll never say what flows throughout my brain and causes hell
Always unchained, my life just burns as all my joy just melts
Always in pain, I have no mouth but I wish I could belt
Out words in blaze, never contained within my awkward gaze
But life's a haze and I just wish that I could simply phase
Up on out of this realm of existence
Phased by nothing but I still feel like rubbish
Whipped by my passing thoughts, it's nothing but torture
Gripped by my lasting thoughts, I can't settle no score
My soul is fading away, I don't know what I could say
To make it last one more day, cause I just don't wanna pay
I thought I found myself but I'm still a lost soul
Tryna find me some purpose with no real large goal
Anticipation killed my ambitions beyond belief
Expectations ruined everything that I ever achieved
And it's a hard pill to swallow
Just move forward is my motto
Because ain't no use getting stuck in my own shell
When all it's done is created my own personal hell
That I wish to escape any time, any date
Let me out to see the sun and what I have done
Second guessing first impressions
Lacking blessing and I'm stressing
Overworking, overthinking
I was floating, now I'm sinking
Where has my mind gone lately?
It's felt like a gun pointed toward me, off safety
Convinced everyone I know hate me
Times slowly ticking as depression's constant kicking
Leaves a mark and doesn't stop till it's finished
Or leaves me feeling diminished
Bleeding out every positive feeling that I've ever kept
Instead of using these emotions, I just gave up and wept
Tears run across as my face as I put the pen to the paper
Put my heart and soul towards all of it but I still gotta cater
To those who'll never care what I deal with, or what's in my favor
To them this life is but a game and I'm simply a player
Playing into they hand, or simply playing myself
Constant reminders of time passed, I think I need some help
But I can't find the energy to ask for assistance with what I done dealt
Or simply speak the words to what I done felt
So instead, I'm just folding like some origami
Cause in the end, I'll just probably
Never find the answers, hardly
Ever expected more, only expected folly
But where should I even go now?
Where do I continue without a how?
Drowning at every moment of overwhelm
So, how could I ascend?
As I'm progressing through life, I feel more like an inkless pen
Moving forward without any real path or passion like I ain't actually
Worth anyone's time or a even moment of talking to
Used to feel bruised and purple, now I feel more and more blue
Used to feel bruised and purple, now I feel more and more blue
